Monday, March 14, 2011

Obama, Present and Accounted For

President Present sure has had his hands full lately hasn’t he?

He’s had to vote present on a whole lot of things these past couple of years, but it seems like recently he has increased his work load to include even the more “big ticket” items.

The Budget?







Assault on Unions” aside? Present.

Why that poor man has been so busy that it was recently reported that a staffer had overheard him say something to the effect of, “It would be easier to be the President of China.” That glorious personage probably doesn’t have to listen to quite as much criticism of his job, that lucky scamp!

I’m just glad that we pay him $400,000 a year in salary to handle all this tough Perfect Presidential Attendance. The only thing I ever got Perfect Attendance in was Wines and Spirits class in cooking college. Yes, really. I know first hand how difficult it can be to show up day after day to perform the grueling task of just being there.

That poor bastard.

At least he got a break from all that relentless physical existence by speaking recently against bullying in schools. He confided to the Nation that he too had been bullied as a child. He shared with us that his large ears and “funny name” were natural lightning rods for derision and ridicule. Now it’s his large deficit and funny economic policies that attract the slings and arrows of outrageously outrageous outrage.

He just can’t win, can he?

In other matters relevant to Obama, he recently fired the spokesman of the State Department P. J. Crowley for his vocal criticisms of the treatment of Bradley Manning by the Department of Defense. This went over wonderfully with his base as one might expect. A quick jaunt through Democratic Underground and FireDogLake show the esteemed readership there to be in polite disagreement with the White House’s actions.

It would appear as well that they too are noticing this trend towards the taking on of greater Sustainable Static Existential Responsibility within the Oval Office.

In the words of my father:

“If I didn’t think he despised me as much as I despise him, I might feel sorry for the guy”.